I go through stages/episodes of producing a body of work in private. Its a form of cognitive behavioural therapy. I’m forced to face my anxieties and “irrational” thoughts in order for me to get over them. My severe obsessive compulsive disorder means i constantly am arguing with any unwanted thoughts, i have learnt how to keep them out. I do this by constantly having a loop of counteractions in my head to prevent any negative thought from manifesting itself. “This will not happen, that is not going to happen, every things all right, no, he will not die, i will not commit, healthy, happy, clean, clear, it’s ok, physio, hospital” is an example of what is running through my head every second of the day no matter what I’m doing or where i go. I’ve learnt how to talk whilst having this loop of thought running through my mind. Its been like this for years. Its become normal.